Self-Righteous Definitions.

Disappointment is…
!) The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations;
2) The person, event, or thing that causes such a feeling.

Love is…
1) An intense feeling of deep affection; a sexual or romantic attachment; a great interest and pleasure or fondness in a subject;
2) The person or thing that one loves; slang for addressing another; formality when signing off mail;
3) A score of zero (usually in squash or tennis) [ORIGIN: apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e., the love of the game, not for money); folk etymology has connected the word with French l'oeuf ‘egg,’ from the resemblance in shape between an egg and a zero.]

So how not to get disappointed? Don’t have expectations or hopes!
Or just don’t love;

You care: you worry.
You’re fond: you’re jealous.
You’re responsible: you’re troubled.
You’re enjoying the moment: You’re getting sick of it.

You promise: You disappoint.

“Don’t love” too extreme?
Don’t give your love easily.
Easily said, but impossible it’s not.

End of Phase Two: Adolescence

Yes, phase one was but a prelude, like how you everything seems so new and hard in year one of any course; Now phase two is over, and it brought troubles as well as pride and lessons learnt from past mistakes. I have a feeling phase three will be the most un-fulfilling and unrewarding of them all, as well as the hardest phase in all five to six phases of life, but I could be wrong.

I will really hate shaving the hair of my head. But I will really love being slender for once in my adult life. Regardless of what people say, I will cherish this.

I’m thinking of going to Japan, but for so many reasons. Both right, and wrong. For now, I will just ride on the slaveship and serve my term: I’ll have plenty of time to think of this in there.

And who knows; The Column of The Three Different Loves will begin to go through earthquakes of different magnitudes. I really hope all three remain standing.

If I ain’t feeling too lazy, I’ll begin telling my nostalgic experiences once again for all to hear. After all, I’ve made so many new friends, lost so many old friends; There are some to stay: And I believe I have made a handful.

It’s 3:49am (you’ll probably see this post at 4am or so after my editing) and I wish I could write a song like Mark John Hariman Ng Ching Xian. But alas, my D string shattereth, my string-cutter a-missing, and my body a-lazy.

Inch actually finds the blue strings appealing. Funny.

Dreamchasing Bug.

Lyrics & Music by Masamune Kusano
(Translation by Aoi Hayashi)

Isn’t it great if we can lead an ordinary life
laughing, crying, and growing our wings together?

You’re neither a great beauty, nor is there magic;
But I love the silly you.
Even if you change on the way…
I’ll forgive everything.

Until the day we stand in that place we’ve dreamed of,
We’ll continue on, little by little, till the end.

We’ll lose ourselves in eroticism -
Until we’re sick, until we fall -
It’s a weird dream but it’s real, are we serious?

Until the day we stand in that place we’ve dreamed of,
We’ll continue on, little by little, till the end.

I’m a short-lived tiny bug.
In happines or sadness,
I’ll dance with you.

Even though everyone says
“Don’t look up, don’t look down.”
Yearned but betrayed
Learn a way to prevent being hurt and get over it.

Where shall we go now?

Until the day we stand in that place we’ve dreamed of,
we’ll continue on, little by little, till the end.
Until the day we stand in that place we’ve dreamed of,
we’ll continue on, little by little, till the end.

Till the end…

Sometimes.

Sometimes you just wanna be left alone.

Sometimes you don’t.

Sometimes you want to just walk all the way home, plugged into a plethora of mood-worthy melodies, strolling, (smoking,) letting yourself drift all the way, till, inevitably, you reach your destination.

Sometimes you want to just meet people, and have a good chat, or just be hugged and loved or gain the center of attention and concern, or just gather together and have fun.

Everybody’s Sometime happens at different times. When they do coincide, you become great friends amidst other factors. But after that, the pedestal you know as friendship goes through fair weather.

You’ll learn to cope.

I hate it when my socially craving Sometime happens to me when I am really busy.

Loser.

Fuck I am such a disappointment.
I disappoint you, and you and you and you.

Will anyone wake me up from this losership?

Sound Design.

I love work.
Still at work.
Ain’t gonna stop work.
Can’t get enough of work.

(Only this kinda work.)

Rendezvous with The Machine.

I’m working overnight again, this time having to stay up till what is supposedly my normal knocking-off time. So that means from now till 6 or 7 plus later.

But it’s okay, music and sound is my passion.
I’m living for this.

If anybody wants to accompany me, drop me a ring! Hah.

Oh Dearest Duesenberg, please materialise in my near future…

I write stupid things when I’m drunk.

I just realised how stupid my previous post was. Lacking in proper sentence structure too.
But however, I guess I would call it the truth. Drunk people don’t really tell lies, I think. But it’s the “exaggerated truth”, more often than not.

The deadline for the feature film that I’m working on is this friday. After that, I think I’ll head over to Thai Disco with my boss. Or something. I don’t know.

I don’t have any time at all this week!

Yes, I’m blogging again till I die on June 6.

There are always those few things in life that don’t go your way.

What do you do?

When you’re an infant or toddler, you cry.

When you’re a child, till you’re pre-adolescence, you throw a tantrum.

When you’re a young adult, you start to keep things to yourself.

I haven’t really gone past that stage yet, so I can’t tell you what you do after that. But that’s practically what I’m planning to do about the things I cannot get.

I regret not having done some things, or not being in different places at different times in different situations and being different.

It really sucks knowing that you can be pretty happy.

Or is it, after all, I am the one who is deluded?

By that bitch who so claimed my world for her own and then left me to die as I tried to pursue her fantasy of this world?

Of which, I would hate to admit, but, I was the one who was being the bastard and not her being the bitch?

Either way, I’d rather be full of rage than full of remorse. Some things aren’t worth lusting over.

But some things are.

When I don’t get a particular object or subject I want, I consider it that most important one.

Just ignore me.

I’m sure you’re like that too.

I’m drunk.

But I love those special ones out there.

And you know who you are.